Recipe for Awesome

2 cups instant mash potato flakes
2 ½ cups boiling water
1 large can (415g) pink salmon
3 eggs
200g Australian feta cheese
8-10 shallots
100g butter
some cheddar cheese for grating

1 big ass mixing bowl
1 big ass whisk
1 big ass spatula
1 big ass grater
1 big ass spoon
1 big ass ceramic baking thing
1 big ass oven
1 big ass face full of determination and smirks

Hokay, first what you want to do is preheat that big ass oven to 180 degrees Celsius. Put the potato flakes and the boiling water in that big ass bowl. Bust out that whisker and go to town. Make sure that shits creamy and delicious looking. Add that chunk o' butter in there and beat in that bad boy 'till it's melted totally away. Clean up those shallots, cut the fuzzy bits off, and those super green bits, and give those bad boys a rinsing they won't soon forget. Line those fellas up and make a chop every centimeter or so. Throw em in that big ass pot. Now take your feta and chop it into cube kinda shapes. Chunkier than the shallots though. About 3 centimeters wide. Chuck 'em in! Use the brine as well! Salty num nums. Now you want to open that tin of salmon and chop it a bit while it's in the can. Pour it all in the bowl, juice and all. Gotta get that flavour. Now add those eggs and take your big ass spoon and stir it till it's all mixed in together and looking pinky fine. Sometimes it's a bit too liquidy, you can add some more potato flakes to stiffen up the mix at this point, gotta have it solid. Now take that mix and dump it in that big ass ceramic baking thing. Grate some of that cheese across the top, put some finesse into it! Now slap that greasy pig into the oven for about 45mins, or until it's crispy and brown looking on the top.

Now you got yourself one helluva delicious thing. Cut a chunk out of it and go at it with your mouth parts. It's even tasty when it's cold. I've spread some in a sammich before. Awesome.